Time To Heal

Time heals all wounds.

Your mother said it. So did your teachers and your friends. You’ve heard it in books and movies and songs. It’s a popular phrase used to mend the wounded and the broke-hearted.

Time heals all wounds.

But what about your memory? Does time heal that too? Can distance from a hurtful memory give your mind time to heal over and forget?

Maybe for some this is an option. The ability to forget those memories that you no longer want to recall. The hurtful ones, the scary ones and even the sad ones.

For the most part, my memory hangs on to it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. And I find with distance and time my memory stays intact but with a little more gray around the edges. A bit of fuzziness that blurs the corners and the memory fades a little. But the initial feeling evoked by this original occurrence is still there, a slight undertow pulling at my heartstrings when I feel my body relive that sight. Those sounds. Even the smells.

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I wish this phrase pertained to memory too. I have memories that are still fresh. Still painful. And in self-protection, I’ve begun to bury them in an attempt to allow my emotional wounds the room to heal. But all it takes is a scent, a visual scene, or a sound that is reminiscent and the memories flood in, wiping away all the work done to dam the river of tears.

It is exhausting. And I’m ready for it to be time to heal. Time to move on and to be let go of. I wish for my freedom and for the pain to lessen. I hope for a morning to come when I wake and my first thought isn’t “How sad am I today?” or “I hope today is the day I am left alone”.

For a day to come when I wake and enjoy the happy times again.

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2 thoughts on “Time To Heal

    • Trigger. That’s a great word for it. And some days I find that my system isn’t so sensitive so the triggers don’t yield as much reaction. But on those days when my walls are down and defenses are weaker, those are the days that the triggers hit me hardest.

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