Landmines

It’s a normal day. Everything has been as it usually is. Drop off at school was full of hugs and kisses. Work was pleasantly busy and customers were their usual selves. The coffee was hot and the toilet is still broken.

Then you hit a landmine.

Landmines can be found in many forms. A picture, a note, an email, an old text message. Sometimes a sock found at the bottom of the laundry basket or a gift bought with the intention to be given.

Even a toothbrush found in a drawer in the guest bathroom, left there for those unexpected sleepovers.

Landmines can be found anywhere and in any form.

The worst part about a landmine is that they are, in most cases, unexpected.

If you are in the middle of battle, you have your wits about you and you know to keep an eye out. So, finding a landmine is usually no cause for concern. It’s expected. So you dig it up, dispose of it and move on, happy to have all limbs attached due to your diligence.

It’s when the battle has ceased and your life has regained some sort of normalcy that an unexpected landmine can be extremely damaging.

Once the majority of the battle is done and those involved are left to pick up the pieces, you find yourself letting down your guard. The fight is over, now it’s time to heal. Time to lick the wounds created by those you once loved and time to move on.

You are injured and recovering. You aren’t thinking about any possible landmines left in the wake of the destruction.

Then it happens. You step and trip, falling onto a hidden landmine months after the everything is over. Or at least after you thought everything was over.

You find a reminder on your calendar for a birthday. The celebration of life. A happy moment, one in which you enjoy. One you once were apart of.

Suddenly you find yourself on your knees, clutching your chest. Your heart pounds. The pain is real. It’s deep, deeper than you could have ever imagined. All this time spent rebuilding your life and the healing has yet to reach the deepest part of your spirit in which the memories of your happiness with the one you loved still hides.

A bubble of grief forms in your chest. You take deep breaths trying to rid your body of the discomfort. The tears form and begin to pool over your lashes and streak down your cheeks.

And all you can do is wait for it to pass.

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2 thoughts on “Landmines

  1. I’ll share one of my landmines.

    When I was married to my 2nd wife, we had a dog I raised from when she was a puppy named Sabrina. When I found out she was cheating on me, I knew I couldn’t keep Sabrina because I would be a single guy that worked a lot. So I allowed someone else to adopt her (I wasn’t about to let my ex keep her). I was so attached to Sabrina that most of the time I cried it was over her, not the loss of my marriage.

    When I went shopping, I would sometimes get coupons for dog food when I checked out because I previously bought food for Sabrina. Then it didn’t happen for a long time.

    But one day, out of the blue, I was buying groceries and the cashier hands me a coupon for dog food. Up to this point I thought I was having a good day. However, when I saw the coupon, I looked at the cashier and almost yelled “when are you going to stop giving me f@#$ing coupons for dog food?!?!?!?”

    I never, ever cuss or yell at someone providing services to me, even if they’re bad. For me to do this was so far out of character.

    Landmine.

    Fortunately, she took it in stride and offered to get me a new frequent shopper card so I would never get that reminder again. But I still feel incredibly sad about the way I treated her that day.

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