Making My Way Through

The best way out is always through. ~Robert Frost

I give in.

I always try to put my best foot forward and ignore the signs that I’m unhappy or sad.

Somewhere in my mind I’ve made myself believe that happiness and joy are the only emotions worthy of feeling and anything else is to be bottled up. Kept inside tight and closed. As if I’m a failure for feeling sad and unhappy, angry and spiteful.

But no more. I have earned the right to feel everything even down to the very worst of emotions.

I won’t lie and say I’m fine or that I’m ok. Because I’m not. I’m broken and very hurt.

I won’t take people telling me to cheer up or to be happy. That will come in time. For now, I grieve my losses as the lessons I’ve learned slowly sink in.

As for my son, he needs to see and understand that people are not perfect. That life is a balance between the good and the bad. That it’s ok to be sad, to cry and to be upset. But that our best chance for being the best version of ourselves is to feel everything, learn from them and move forward. To take care of ourselves as a first priority and not to fake happiness for the sake of those around us.

I am sad for now.

I will be happy again because I refuse to live under a dark cloud forever. But I also refuse to ignore my feelings. I will be ok and for now, I will make my way through it just so I can come out the other side wiser and stronger.

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