Each night it’s something new. Marriage. Lust. Jealousy. Flying.
Playing pool in a dingy, seedy bar.
Running and running but never getting far enough away to feel safe.
His face over and over again.
I wake sometimes with a headache, feeling lethargic and drained. Other times I wake suddenly, a film of sweat covering my limbs and clinging to the back of my neck, my hair curling from the moisture.
I’ve yet to wake up feeling completely and utterly peaceful, happy with the visions roaming my mind as I close my eyes to rest. Instead I toss and turn, fighting with some inner conflict that isn’t being resolved during my waking hours.
My heart is at war with my mind and my sleep is suffering from it.
Maybe my heart is working through what my mind already understands. Maybe my mind is trying to convince my heart of what is best. Or maybe the bonds and love built between two people can pierce through those sleeping minds, showing them what they had and what they really want.
I need clarity and peace.
I need a night of rest without anymore dreams.
I need sleep.