Life is huge.
It’s bigger than I ever believed it to be as a little girl, even with my wild fantasies and my huge imagination. Under that curly mop rested a mind that could fathom anything. My days were centered around what imaginary life I could live in the wild enchanted forests with my imaginary friends. Reality was for the birds. I wanted adventure and magic.
I thought I had it all down, that I was open minded enough to understand what was in front of me, to believe in what was made up and a little wiggle room for all the stuff in between. That nothing would surprise me because I knew it all.
At 7 years old, I was awesome and nothing could bring me down.
Now I’m grown and my curly mop isn’t so curly and my imagination still runs wild but reality has a firm grasp on my day to day life. They’ve swapped places. I now live in reality while I make room for my imagination.
And in this switch up as I’ve grown and become wiser, more grounded, I find I actually know very little.
Especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
I’ve been a lover since I was very little, chasing the people I liked and wanted to be liked back in equal amounts of adoration and kisses. Holding hands and sneaking smooches under the slide on the playground were elementary school hobbies for me.
I chased love only wishing it would chase me back.
I thought love was all one needed to feel good, be strong and to take on the world. That when someone loved everything about you that was good, unique and wonderful, that it was enough to make all your faults fade away.
Then I grew up. I got my heart broken a few times and I learned a lot. A lot about myself and my needs, about my faults and about how honestly quirky I am. I also learned that there is more to love than just a quickening pulse and sweaty palms.
Love is not enough to fix the broken. The broken has to want to be fixed for any love given to make an impact. It’s not enough to keep people together. There needs to be a willingness to make it work, to cling together and make it through any storm. Love is not enough to change a person’s thoughts. The mind is powerful and once settled, it can be hard to sway.
Love is only a portion of the whole equation.
Yes, it is the stuff of fairy tales and of romantic stories I believed as a child. And yes, I still believe deep down that love is beautiful and powerful and awesome.
Kinda like Santa Claus, whom I still believe in to this day.
But now I understand how to let it come to me. How to take what I’m given, place it in the ground and let it grow with honesty, tender care, and lots of encouragement. That chasing love is like trying to catch a butterfly and while waiting for it to come to you is tedious, chasing after it will leave you breathless and tired and quite possibly far away from the path you were on.
I’ve also learned not to shut the door so fast at the end of a situation. Second chances may not always be an option I want to give but sometimes, just sometimes, having another go may be what is needed.
I may be older and wiser, but I’m still a child at heart, believing in the beauty of love and wonderment that belongs in a world of make believe. And along with that is now my new found knowledge that love needs attention, room to grow and can’t be rushed. That it can’t bloom on its own without a little help and a little imagination. That time does heal the wounds of the heart.
And that second chances may be just the magic needed to let love blossom when all else fails.