When you are planning a wedding, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the details.
This has happened to me. I’ve been so focused on getting my to-do list broken down and completed that I didn’t take the time to realize this wedding is for me.
That reality hit me this week.
I am planning my wedding. An event in which I will be front and center with over 100 people there to witness. Me… The girl that doesn’t celebrate her own birthday
Cue the cold feet.
When you Google the term “cold feet” you get hits on articles about realizing you’ll be with the same person for a long time and how regrets before the wedding can lead to higher divorce rates.
But you don’t see much relating to cold feet about the event itself.
My reservations have little to do with my relationship because I trust that even when things get tough (because eventually they will, let’s be honest) we’ll work it through. That’s the beauty of who we are. We are fighters. We will get through even the toughest spots because we both feel this relationship, this love between us, is worth fighting for.
Hell if he walked in here today and said “Let’s to go the judge and get married today” I’d jump up without a worry and I’d happily say I Do.
I’m totally ready to be married. I’m just not ready to be a bride.
So here I am, nervous, anxious, tearful and worried about this huge event that I must be present for in a few weeks. Not only that but in just a week I’ll be the focal point of a shower…ugh.
All this attention is making me itchy. And overwhelmed.
I wish I had a previous experience with such a big event so I could kinda know that at one time I made it through. But I haven’t. This is a first.
And hopefully my last.