The Teacher vs. The Mother

My son is blessed with a curse, I am his mother but I’m also a teacher. Fully credentialed, passionate. I fall into teacher mode often with him, working through his homework and discussing classroom behavior modifications options to help him succeed in class.

Recently we were told that Jake would have an SST (student success/support team meeting) to give him a boost in school. An SST, at least as I remember them in the past, were meant to create a plan for that individual child that would be recorded and kept with his file. Areas that needed improvement (reading, math, study skills, testing, behavior) would be brought up and then a plan would be created to help him improve.

Since he started elementary school last year I could tell that Jake would need extra help. He struggled to focus in class and found writing to be exceptionally difficult both in mechanics (a slight delay in fine motor skills) but also in finding motivation to get it done. Last year was difficult and a lot of tears were shed over homework and many meetings with his teacher were had. But the change from last year to this year has been extraordinary. He’s received more support and so far we’ve seen him adapt in areas and improve.

Even so, his teacher and school staff have seen a need for more and so in we go to the depths of the public school support system to get him what he needs to keep up this momentum.

I’m pleased, thrilled even. But the bigger concern of mine is, do I go in with teacher mode on in the background or am I there to just be his mother?

Any teacher who is also a parent must know how this feels. To have the knowledge and educational background to teach in the system and run meetings like this but understanding you are there for your own child and not a student. To be his advocate and to bridge the gap between home and school but nothing more.

How do I turn it off? How do I stop teacher mode and instead go in as mom? Is it possible? It must be and I think the next couple of weeks until the meeting takes place I’ll be talking and working out a way to have both sides of me be there without one stepping on the other. To blend the two.

My son is my son first, and not my student. So I must be his mother first. His mother always.


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